For Veteran’s Day, the HM and I received a free overnight stay at a Bed and Breakfast as a thank-you for his 20 years of military service. It was a lovely gift, and the B&B was absolutely amazing. It’s not too far from an Amish town with excellent prices on cheeses and hormone-free beef, so we followed it up with a day of grocery shopping.

As it happened, the Little Boys were also here this weekend- unavoidably, as their mother was having surgery. Pip and Jenny both worked on Veteran’s Day as well, and even though their schedules alternated, Pip also had homework for her college courses, so the FYG and FYB did the majority of childcare for Blynken, Nod, and the Cherub.

Pip slept late after doing homework into the wee hours, and then took a shower, and there had been trouble with the boys all morning, including a little incident where Nod kicked Blynken and then insisted he hadn’t kicked him, he was just stretching his leg and Blynken got in the way (later in another incident he also explained he hadn’t intended to bite his brother, he was just sucking his arm).

When Pip got out of the shower the FYG discussed the boys with her and wondered what they should do because the fractious behavior was really wearing her out.

“Hmmmm,” said Pip, thoughtfully, “You know that thing Mom talks about doing with us- tomato staking? Let’s try that.”

So Pip took one boy and kept him completely by her side, and the FYG took the other lad, and peace reigned. The FYG was amazed at the difference it made, and at how much calmer the entire house was.

FYG told me this story Monday evening when we got home, and when she got to this part I tried to look sympathetic over all her hard work with the boys, but I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face and I danced a jig inside my heart.

We didn’t call it tomato staking at the time, because we’d never heard the term ( this would have been in the mid-nineties). But when Pip and Jenny were little and were getting into constant, serious, and very dangerous trouble, we resorted to this method. What’s funny about this is that the girls both, even though in their twenties now, remember this period of time with loathing. Every time it comes up I hear how much they hated it. This doesn’t bother me because it was extremely effective, and our need was really quite drastic- Pip actually pulled a dresser on her face and lost four teeth because of the unruliness of their unsupervised behavior- and they’d only been unsupervised for about ten minutes when that happened. “Oh, but it was soooooo annoying!” the girls will tell, the frustration still palpable in their voices.

And yet…. that’s what Pip thought of doing with Blynken and Nod, and she and the FYG followed through on it and found it worked.
Pop, pop, sproing! That’s the sound of my buttons bursting.

The FYG also put out the fall decorations while I was gone, having the Little Boys help her.

We also came home to see that our son had been playing lumberjack, and there’s a huge pile of wood stacked up outside the house- (along the garage, and not blocking the view of the flower bed this year).

There were other blessings as well (laundry folded, etc).

There have been times the last year or two when I have really, really worried about how our youngest two are going to turn out. As I’ve said before, I don’t think the teen years are a good time to be complacent, and I am always going through the teen years (even when our teens never caused us any trouble, which mostly, the oldest didn’t) with my fingers crossed and prayers breathed through the days. I don’t feel like I can stop worrying until they are in their twenties.

I still worry, because I’m the Mom and that’s one of the things I do, and I know how far short I fall as a mother. But things like this- they go a long, long, way toward smoothing the rough edges off this mother’s anxious heart.

Sniff.