If you’re ever tempted to have a precociously verbal toddler or preschooler listen to The Wind in the Willows, be prepared to find yourself suddenly being sassed with the phrase “Onion sauce! Onion sauce!”

“Why is your sister is crying?”

“Onion sauce! ONION SAUCE!”

A few hours later: “What’s wrong with your sister?”

“She is cwying because I stomping on her cwackers and saying Onion sauce ONION SAUCE to her.”

It was all a hopeless business, really. YOU try keeping a straight face.