Teach men and boys what?

The problem with illegal aliens who kill and or rape girls is not illegal aliens or our porous borders and it won’t be fixed by securing our borders. We just have to teach men and boys that no means no and they should listen to a woman and…..
blah, blah, blah. I can’t even listen to this argument anymore because the blood rushes to my ears. It’s so *stupid*. If somebody wants to talk about statistics and point out that it is not like American born citizens never rape or kill people, *that* is a legitimate argument, a reasonable starting point. But ‘we just need to teach them not to rape’ is flatly stupid.

This is why. Do you really think that people who rape and kill women do that because they don’t know it’s wrong? Of course they know perfectly well that no means no and that they are wrong. That’s why they lie and hide their crimes. The problem is not that they don’t know, it’s that they don’t care.

And also, how on earth does this ‘we need to teach men and boys not rape’ argument work when the men in question have entered the country illegally in the first place? “WE” cannot teach consideration for others and respect for boundaries to people who live in other countries where the culture is different and who then break the law and violate boundaries to come here- but we can teach them respect *our* boundaries by sending them back when they violate them.

It’s also possible to do several things at once- secure the borders, and have better protections in place for women here.

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Stinky Fruits

I have eaten 3 of the five on this list. I don’t think Jackfruit stinks at all.
I had a marang in my refrigerator for the last 12 hours and I don’t think my house will ever smell the same again. I may have to take everything out of the fridge and pinesol the every lovin’ daylights out of it, and I am still not sure that would help.

It’s hard to describe the smell- the worst, absolutely worst gas leak you can possibly imagine, with undertones of dirty socks and overtones of rotten eggs and sewage.

But the fruit itself is indeed delicious.

The Five Stinkiest Fruits

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Pork Chops with Mustard Sauce

Pork Chops with Mustard Sauce

I had to make a few adaptations because, living in the Philippines, not all the ingredients were readily and easily available, and I can’t afford to take a cab around from store to store hunting them up.  So instead of panko bread crumbs, I used Fita crackers (like an off-brand of Ritz, but less oily) and crushed them.  I don’t have olive oil at home, I use palm or coconut oil, so that’s what I used. My Italian spices are mix and match and acquired at great inconvenience so I did not have them all.  Instead of parsley I dried and minced celery leaves, and they were quite tasty. I don’t have an oven except my little toaster oven, and it only cooks two pork chops at a time, so I cooked them in an electric skillet.

These are good, but not AMAZING.  They are pretty easy to make, so that was nice.  However, my husband was ravenously enthusiastic and I think that part of the reason they appealed to us so much is just that they appeal to American tastebuds.  There is just something about the flavours of your  motherland that hit the spot like nothing else, that fill in an empty space in your being that you did not even know existed, even if you think you’re not that attached to your home-country’s cuisine- or at least, that is my experience.    Absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder, because pork chops have never been one of my favourites, although they have always been one of his.

We love Asian food and we eat it five  to seven times a week in one form or another, but we are getting to the place where we don’t really care if we never have curry or adobo again, and that’s kind of a sad place to be. We had burritos twice in the last 9 days or so, plus cheese tortillas three or four times- and they are not cheap here. We found tortillas at a grocery store and bought five packages (for 2 of us!  Cherub cannot eat them).  Fortunately they freeze well.   I eat avocado toast for breakfast 3 times a week because the avocados are cheap right now, and we stock up on whole wheat bread when we find it.

I made these as an experiment a couple weeks ago, and the HM ate the planned leftovers the same night, and finished off the last one for lunch even though the school now provides him with free lunches. He requested I make them again soon, and even willingly went to the grocery store we like the least of the 3 in our area to get some of the ingredients. That grocery store is upscale, high-end, and most likely to have any American style ingredients of the 3 we frequent. Of the 3 we frequent it is also the furthest away, the most crowded, the largest and busiest and most overwhelming.  I always spend too much money there because I am so overwhelmed I quit thinking.  And I spend the most money, but am most likely to come home without something I really needed because it’s just too much for me to handle rationally.

So, anyway.  He did the grocery shopping.  The particular special ingredients needed for this recipe which were most likely found at G-mall were dijon mustard and dried oregano, and possibly lemons.  The other stores sometimes have them and sometimes don’t.  As it turned out, Gaisano Mall did not have the dijon mustard either, so when he texted me to say he asked 3 people for help and still could only find regular and honey mustard, I looked up how to make dijon at home and found it was surprisingly simple, provided you have white wine.  It only takes a spoonful or so, but I texted him back to bring home the honey mustard and buy some white wine, “and also, why are you asking anybody for help finding the mustard? This is the Philippines.”  This was prophetic, but I was playing Cassandra.

That white wine turned out to be complicated as well- they have a large aisle of alcohol but he saw nothing called white wine.  He asked for help and they showed him the red wine.  This will only confuse or surprise you if you have never lived in a similar culture.  A few months ago we had a taxi driver take us to the wrong Korean restaurant not once, but *twice*, as in, he left the parking lot and just kind of did a circle back in to the back end of the driveway to the *same* restaurant we had just told him was not where we were going.  The problem for him was he did not know where the restaurant we wanted to go to was located, but this was a Korean restaurant and we said we were going to a Korean restaurant, so this should do.  The problem for us was that we didn’t want to go to just any Korean restaurant, we wanted to go to the one where we were meeting our friends.  It took us 15 minutes to convince the driver we were not getting out and eating at this other restaurant but wanted to go further up the road to the one we’d named.  Probably we should have gotten out and taken another cab, but anyway.  I digress, although not really.  It’s the same story, different nouns.

So my husband explained again he wanted white wine (he even knows the Visaya word for white), and so the sales clerk showed him a bottle of a clear liquor and insisted it was white wine and could be used in any recipe that called for white wine for cooking, so he bought it and brought it home.

The bottle contains not white wine, but triple sec.   It’s an orange flavoured liquor made from bitter orange peels.  I do not even know what to do with this.

This experience pretty much entirely encapsulates what it is like to live in the Philippines and ask somebody a question to which they do not know the answer (or worse, the actual answer is ‘no, we don’t have that.’), especially if it entails their job.


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Prayer request


For the family who own this spot. They are salt of the earth, give you the shirt off their backs, kindness personified.

The husband/father /friend is waiting to hear back about medical tests. The answer could be dire.

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Hunter’s Stew, vintage recipe

Chicago: The People’s Gas Light and Coke Company Cooking inserts, Martha Holmes

This recipe comes from an old stash of my great grandmother’s recipes from the 30’s and 40s. I am not sure why it’s called Hunter’s Stew.  Maybe it was a stew hunters could make over the campfire while camping?

In the kitchen, you can use up a number of leftovers with it, and excepting the bacon it’s pretty frugal:

1-2 cups leftover cooked pasta- spaghetti is fine if you cut it up.

5 slices of cooked bacon and the drippings,

1/2 lb of turkey ham or ham

2 cups of canned corn with liquid,

1 cup diced tomatoes and their juice.

salt and pepper to taste

Fry the bacon and the diced or shredded ham in a dutch oven or saucepan, until crispy.  Cut up the bacon.  Add all the ingredients to the same pan (keep the drippings) and stir, simmer 15 minutes or so.

This is not gourmet.  It’s end of the month, what’s in the pantry (except for that bacon).  You can substitute all down the row (Except for that bacon).  Use any canned or cooked vegetable you have- green beans, peas, mixed veggies, diced cabbage diced cooked squash or pumpkin….

Use fresh tomatoes or canned

Use cooked ground beef, diced leftover hamburgers or hotdogs for the meat

Add an onion and some garlic

Add a drop or more of some good hot sauce

Add some soy sauce or worcestershire sauce


Serve with: bread and butter, or a baked potato, or over rice, or apple slices or jicama slices or a pickle or two


Noodles and Vienna Sausage (only I would use any sausage, or hot dogs if I needed to save money)

Ingredients: 1/4 lb pasta

2 T. butter

small onion, minced

tomato sauce, about a cup

chili powder and garlic, 1/2- 1 tsp each

1/2 pound sausage, sliced.

1 1/2 cups of grated cheese

1/2 cup of bread crumbs, cracker crumbs, pangko

Cook 1/4 pound of noodles to al dente and drain.  Melt 2 T butter or other fat in a skillet. Add a small minced onion and saute for 5 minutes. Stir in 1 cup tomato sauce, 1/2 tsp chili powder and garlic, and about half a pound of diced sausage or hotdogs. Heat through. Put half the noodles in a greased 1 1/2 quart casserole. Pour sauce over the noodles. Sprinkle with 3/4 cup of grated cheddar cheese. Cover with remaining nodles. Sprinkle the top with a mixture of 1/2 cup of cheese and buttered bread crumbs (or cracker crumbs or pangko) Bake at 350 25-30 minutes

Serve with green salad, garlic bread, fruit, green beans or roasted winter squash on the side

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