The Ideal Young Man, of 1902

I. Will the ideal young man play cards, drink liquor, or use tobacco?

2. Will he be a Christian?

3. Shall he be a lawyer, preacher, journalist, physician, or merchant?

4.  Shall he be a college graduate?

The above questions were sent out to representative young women in all parts of the United States. Most of the young ladies are daughters at home or home keepers. The rest are, so far as known, clerks, or business young women, or public school teachers .

Though the largest per cent prefer the ministry for the ideal young man, none of those answering are clergymen’s daughters so far as known. Only a few extracts from the many answers received are given here, and then only the answers upon which there was more universal agreement…


No man who uses liquor is worthy the name of man. He shall not use tobacco or narcotics of any kind….

He will neither play cards or drink liquor or use tobacco. He must be a Christian. He should be a college graduate. …

He should not play cards or seek questionable amusement of any kind..


To play cards is to worse than waste his time. He can not use liquor for in the end it snatches from his heart the love that has fed his manhood. He will not use tobacco, for he can see no sense in making a smokestack of himself when it only leaves a repulsive breath.

… The following per cent markings show that these answers are representative of the many not given here.

Eighty five per cent are against card playing for the ideal young man for fear it would tempt him into the gambling habit.

eighty five per cent are against the use of tobacco as a wasteful, foolish, and befouling habit.

ninety per cent say he must be a Christian.

five per cent think law the ideal profession, journalism and medicine have ten per cent each, forty per cent would select for him the ministry, only one out of the whole list would select for him farming, the others had no choice of profession for him.

These answers coming as they do from such a diverse list of young women from almost all walks of life are a safe index to the American home idea. Our daughters and wives and mothers are the real guardians of the home and are the best judges of its chief supports as well as its chief despoilers.

Before any young lady agrees to take for better or for worse any moderate drinker let her counsel with the many brokenhearted wives who but a few years ago also pledged love and life and honor to some moderate drinker but who now sit shivering through a long night of desertion and shame waiting through moments that seem months for a release that only death can bring.


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Salmon Patties

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Salmon patties- you can find recipes everywhere. This is what I made up last night (it’s Whole30 and paleo compliant and also low-carb):
1 can salmon (around 14 ounces, give or take)
2 eggs
teaspoon garlic powder
tablespoon of curry powder
2 tablespoons of minced dried onion (you can use fresh, but use a little more)
2-4 tablespoons of coconut
salt and pepper to taste
tablespoon of lemon juice.

Drain the salmon, then put it in a bowl. Use a fork and a knife or a pastry blender to cut up the canned salmon- skin, bones, and all.
When you can’t really see the skin any more, add the other ingredients and blend well. The coconut is your binder, and how much you need will depend on the side of your eggs, whether you used minced or dried onions. So a add a spoonful and stir well. You don’t want to see any liquid, and you want the mixture to stick together.

Scoop about 1/4 to 1/3 a cup of the mixture into a skillet of melted coconut oil (or bacon grease, or lard, or ghee). Use the back of a spoon or the bottom of your measuring cup to press the salmon into a pattie shape just a little thinner than your pinky finger is thick (unless you’re super skinny, then a little thicker).

Brown over medium-lo heat. Using a spatula, gently loosen from the pan and flip, browning on the other side.

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Sometimes the patties break. That’s okay. They are still edible.

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The canned salmon will often be on sale locally, but mine came from an Amazon Subscribe and Save order- Chicken of the Sea Traditional Pink Salmon, 14.75-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12), and it’s .17 an ounce that way.

Variations: add diced, minced, vegetables such as celery, onion, carrot, sweet potato.

Omit the curry and use dill

serve with aioli sauce, ketchup, mayonnaise, or tartar sauce.

wrap with lettuce, or have in a sandwich

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A few of my husband’s lunches

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Pork roast and potatoes; wax beans with green onions, and frozen berries.

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Green beans just like Grandma used to open; sundried tomatoes, southwestern style breakfast burritoes, and those washed out grape looking things are canned sour cherries with coconut cream. They don’t look pretty but I liked their flavor, nice and sour.

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Pork steak over lemon dill rice; spinach and baby kale; honey orange carrots.

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Green beans, butterhorn roll, and coconut curry salmon patties.

chicken salad horseradish walnuts


Chicken salad sandwiches, with walnuts and horseradish in the chicken salad; green salad, and frozen apricots with blueberries and coconut cream.

Not pictured:

Chop suey, meat loaf, and chicken and rice.

He had quite a fun of days off- snow days, ice days, holidays, and then a teacher inservice day where meals were provided.

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Kindle Books

1.99 Miss Buncle’s Book

Miss Buncle Married

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1.99 Fermented Vegetables: Creative Recipes for Fermenting 64 Vegetables & Herbs in Krauts, Kimchis, Brined Pickles, Chutneys, Relishes & Pastes

Fermented foods are a delicious, healthy addition to any diet, including the Paleo diet. They’re full of nutritious bacteria and probiotics that aid in digestion and boost the immune system. A classic preserving method, the laco-fermentation process yield nutrient-dense live foods packed with vitamins, minerals, enzymes — and flavor! — and is easy enough for complete beginners. This guide includes in-depth instruction for making kimchi, sauerkraut, and pickles and then offers more than 120 recipes, using the same basic methods, for fermenting 64 different vegetables and herbs. You’ll discover how easy it is to make dozens of exciting dishes, including pickled Brussels sprouts, curried golden beets, carrot kraut, and pickled green coriander. The recipes are creative, delicious, and healthful, and many of them can be made in small batches — even just a single pint.

Blurb: What a gorgeous book, expertly written by detail-oriented, caring homesteaders. If you are interested in preserving vegetables, following the traditions of many people across the world and throughout history, this is a great read and a useful tool. The mouthwatering combinations and carefully crafted recipes do justice to the art of fermenting vegetables. Even if all you do is get inspired to buy some fermented veggies from your local farmer or store, this book is worth the inspiration. However, if you are looking to undertake the adventure of making your own, the authors provide steady guidance, based on their own experience and success. Bon appetite!

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The Tears of Nero (The Halo Group Book 1)
Blurb; From the author of The Maze comes a new novel of spiritual warfare, supernatural mystery, and suspense.

Five strangers on a mysterious island are stalked by a madman who calls himself Nero after the crazed Roman Emperor.

A clandestine society known as the Slaves of Solomon search for an ancient secret hidden on the island.

Rumors abound that one of the angels mentioned in the Book of Revelation is secreted in one of the island’s limestone caves.

Are Nero’s murderous games merely the whimsy of a madman or is there something more at work? Are the Slaves of Solomon striving to protect humankind or destroy it? Is there really an angel on the island somewhere or is that story a cover up used to protect the Slaves of Solomon‘s true purpose?

Come to the island and find out why God allows bad things to happen to good people!

Praise for Jason Brannon’s writing:

“Jason Brannon shows us a place of reckoning and judgments, of creatures that wait to ensnare us. The Maze is a novel of damnation and deliverance, of corridors fortified with death and spirituality. I found a bit of myself in The Maze.” ~ Steven Lloyd, author of The Wooden Box

“From his style, you’d think Jason Brannon was the dark double of Ray Bradbury. He cares more about character and realism than most writers I’ve read and his plots flow like well-orchestrated music. Indeed, Brannon’s writing has a classical feel, reminiscent of the best traditional work in the genre, even when he’s going for gut-wrenching terror and torture in-extremis.” ~ Michael Arnzen, International Horror Guild Award winning author of Grave Markings (Dell Abyss)

“Brannon’s work reminds me of the glory days of The Twilight Zone, when it was in black and white and carried bylines like Beaumont and Matheson. Often surreal, sometimes disturbing and sometimes enlightening, there’s real substance in his tales that few of his contemporaries can match.” ~ Mike Oliveri, Bram Stoker Award winning author of “Deadliest of the Species”

“It is a rare treat to find a modern writer whose work is truly a mirror of the darkest corners of the world we all share. Every one of his haunting stories is infused with clear ideas and startling notions submerged in a straightforward and engaging prose. His visions linger with you long after the book has been closed.” ~ Stephen Susco, screenwriter (The Grudge, The Grudge 2, Pulse, Red)

“Biblical prophecies come to life at your local hardware store? What’s not to like? Winds of Change is a wild ride and then some. Jason Brannon’s characters live and breathe in every story, and his horrors crawl up your spine like an icy finger in the dead of night. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough!”–James Newman, author of “Midnight Rain” (Leisure Books)

“Jason Brannon’s Winds of Change is the sort of collection that should make it to everyone’s must read list. His prose is deceptively powerful and his stories are the stuff that revives my love of the genre.”–James A. Moore, author of “Serenity Falls” (Jove)

“Jason Brannon’s The Maze has it all; high concept fantasy adventure, vivid descriptions of horrific monsters and torture devices that should make even the most hardcore horror fans quiver in fear, a deeply moving exploration of the motivations of the human heart, and what it takes to transform from a creature that embraces darkness to one that runs to the light.”-Jess Hanna, author of “Adverse Possession”

“This book is a trip. It’s like Edgar Allan Poe meets Lewis Carroll. Surreal nightmares clash with real-world dilemmas in a tale that’s as bleak as it is hopeful. A breath of fresh air in the world of edgy Christian fiction.”-Mark Carver, author of “Black Sun”

Reader Review; Mississippi author Jason Brannon is a young yet widely published writer whose career began with a propensity for writing short stories, published in such anthologies as Puzzles of Flesh, The Machinery of Infinity, and Five Days on the Banks of the Acheron. His novels to date include The Cage, Winds of Change, The Misunderstood and Other Misfit Horrors, The Order of the Bull, and The Maze, some of which have been translated into German by Basilik Verlag, A German Horror and Fantasy publisher. His writing falls into the suspense, mystery, thriller and religion genre, featuring flawed characters trapped in dangerous situations that test and try their faith- a rather strange combination until you have actually read his work.

Brannon has an uncanny ability to open THE TEARS OF NERO, his new novel of spiritual warfare, supernatural mystery, and suspense, with a Prologue that at first seems simply like witnessing the grief of a man whose mother has just died from cancer, despite bringing her to Rome for a `definitive cure’. His character, Kellan, in his grief, stands in the Domus Aurea of Nero, the site of the historic slaughter of Christians, envisions both Nero and a shadowy winged creature who leaves him with a black feather, speaks to him as the voice of his mother, and challenges him to alter his grief to Revenge! From there the book jumps onto an island and Edward holds a note – “Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?”
signed by `N’. To add to the suspense there are five strangers accompanying him each of whom is being stalked by an insane creature who goes by the names Nero. Brannon tosses in a group called the Slaves of Solomon in search of the answer of an ancient secret that involves one of the significant angels form the Book of Revelation who is said to be sequestered in one of the island’s caves. It is a replay of the atmosphere ledged in the Prologue and the madness of Nero is played out in an extension of biblical controversy versus secular history as to the mission of the Slaves of Solomon. Brannon somehow keeps these strange supernatural chips of horror in place until the books surprising end.

Jason Brannon succeeds where other writers of `religious fiction’ fail in using the biblical sources of fantasy well incorporated into his myths and supernatural subjects. His writing has credibility (not an easy task for a novel of this genre) and that is touched by a natural gift for pacing his well-chosen prose style. He is an author to watch Grady Harp, April 14
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Out of the Dust: Story of an Unlikely Missionary

Blurb; “Don’t waste your pain,” says unlikely missionary Avis Goodhart. She didn’t – and neither should you.

Despite a background of childhood abuse, dyslexia, and marital infidelity, Avis took her first international mission trip at age fifty. The church, school, and orphanage she later founded in northern Peru, all products of both her pain and her radical obedience to the Lord, have brought thousands of others out of the dust. This compelling story of an ordinary woman who serves God in extraordinary ways will challenge, inspire, and empower you to:

• Eliminate excuses from your life
• Recognize that in God’s kingdom, availability matters more than ability
• Allow your pain to produce – not prevent – your obedience
• Serve the Lord with the same abandon shown by one unlikely missionary

Note: Proceeds from the sale of this book are sent to the author’s orphanage in Peru.

About the Authors

Avis Goodhart, founder of Go Ye Ministries, is a missionary, Bible teacher, and conference speaker who has blessed audiences across North, South, and Central America. Although she holds a B.S.Ed. and M.Ed. from the University of Arkansas, her primary qualifications include the pain and obstacles she’s encountered along the way. These provide both insight and passion for her work in bringing the lives of countless orphans, volunteers, and others out of the dust. Avis, a widow, has five children and twenty-two grandchildren.

Marti Pieper’s prayer involvement moved her to assist Brent and Deanna Higgins in telling their son’s story in I Would Die for You, which became a young adult bestseller. Marti, who has a B.S.Ed. from Ohio State University and an M.Div. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, has written multiple books and often teaches at writers’ conferences.

Reader Review; In reading Avis’ story you soon see it is not herself that she seeks to glorify or uplift, it is only the amazing, healing, restoring God she serves that she gives honor and praise too. Through her story she encourages the reader to look beyond the current circumstances of their situation and see how God is working through them. I encourage everyone to read Out of the Dust but not to stop with just that action. Once you have read Avis’s story honestly ask God to show you what He is asking you to do, then jump in with both feet and allow God to write HIS story on your life.

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Hudson Taylor, John Bunyan and, William Carey: their Lives and why they Matter
Just 32 pages.

Blurb; Learn the secrets to the lives of these great men. Not only will you discover what they did, but you will see how even our own time has been affected by the impact of these men of the faith.

– Learn how John Bunyan went from fixing pot and pans to writing the best selling book of history outside of the Bible: the Pilgrim’s Progress
– Learn about William Carey and how he became the most accomplished linguist of his time
– Discover the secret to Hudson Taylor’s spiritual life and the success of the China Inland Mission. You will see how thousands of missionaries were supported on prayer alone

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The God Who Sees You: Look to Him When You Feel Discouraged, Forgotten, or Invisible

Reader Review; For every heart that needs to be lifted, for every soul that needs to be healed, for every mind that needs to be reminded of how God really loves and really sees us. Tammy – it was not just informative, it was transformational and may God bless you for being you and for sharing such a beautiful message with the world. Every once in the while I read a book and say, “I’d love to sit down with this author, have a cup of tea and say, and what about this part of your book, tell me more . . .” Every page touched my heart, and made me thirst for more. I was almost sad when I finished reading “The God Who Sees You”, but I’ll return time and again and I am sure God will send me another message with each reading. I’ll be transformed to someone a little more courageous, closer to God, kinder, more truthful and less fearful

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Fine Art

Did you know that the kind and brilliant people who work in creating and marketing educational products for children have created these boxed sets where you can buy paint, brushes, and rocks all in one go? Lookie!

4M Natural Rock Art Kit

How clever!

Or you could buy some paint and brushes at the dollar store and send the children outside to get rocks. Of course, you could be truly old-school and make your own paints and your own brushes, and George Washington Carver did. But we’re not all him.

So, having corporate made paints and brushes on hand, The Equuschick sent The DPG and the Ladybug outside to collect rocks to paint. What a way to get in touch With Nature, you know?

rocks blog

This is what they brought in. Their visions did not match The Equuschick’s, evidently.

Of course what the children envisioned was much more interesting after all. Because instead of nature turned into art, it was urban ugliness turned into some really pretty cool stuff.

dino and rocks blog

The Dread Pirate Grasshopper had been given the dinosaur painting set for Christmas, and it was his own plan to paint the rocks to display with the dinos. He chose very specific and colour coordinated paints.

The Ladybug, of course, went by pure instinct and free-styled. She’s a 3 year old hippie.

Lizzie rock paint blog

Lizzie's rock blog

That’s one far-out hippie rock.

Posted in Benedict's Rule of Order Adapted for Families | 1 Comment

Leading a Poodle- the Ideal Young Woman, Continued


From a book published in 1902 based on some sermons and surveys the author had put together.  First part is here.  I’m not reproducing the thing in full, just the parts I found interesting.

“Most of these young men say that they are willing to be judged by the same standard of morals by which they judge young women. Why not? What moral attribute should a woman have that a man can, as well as not, do without? If all smoking and drinking men were compelled to marry smoking drinking women because no others would have them, we would soon have a different state of affairs.

But you say custom makes a difference? Yes, but are we to be governed by a thing because it is customary or because it is right? It is custom in China to bind the feet of her girl babies, but that does not make it right. It is a relic of barbarism that would allow boys to roam the street at night and be horrified if their sisters are seen out late. We should be no less careful of our girls, but we should be just as careful of the whereabouts of our boys.”

I really liked that, however unrealistic I think it might be.  I do agree that we should be equally careful as to the whereabouts of boys and girls (it’s 10:00. Do you know where your teen-agers are?)  It’s interesting that this was something being discussed by Christians in 1902, as well.

When I was 15 or so, I sometimes went jogging along the canal bank in the evening. The canal bank was somewhat isolated even though it was just two blocks from my house.  There was lots of cover in the form of tall trees and sand banks, and sometimes hoboes ‘rested’ there (we called them hoboes back then).  I was only allowed to do this if my brother went with me.  This annoyed me because he is 2 1/2 years younger than me.  But my parents did not insist I have my kid brother as a chaperone because of  his age, but because of our respective sizes and gender.  I was 5′ 5″ and slender (oh, those were the days).  He was 6′ and on the wrestling team.  He was a bodyguard, not a chaperone.

I may be old fashioned, but the fact remains that if I had a choice of sending an 18 year old girl out to the store at midnight or an 18 year old boy, I’d choose the boy.  This is not because being out alone at midnight says anything about her character, but because it is a greater risk for a lone young lady than a lone young man.  I can say that’s not fair all I want, but it is what it is.  Barbarism still exists, and barbarians out roaming the streets at midnight are in general more likely to choose as a target a pretty young lady who is 60 inches tall than a strapping young man who is 75 inches tall.

But I digress.  Really, I think the author of the book probably knew that, too, and he was speaking more of the attitude that says the girls must be home by ten, but the boys can stay out until 2, with less questioning about who they are with and what they are doing.

Moving on, we have an answer, I think, for the meaning of ‘lead a poodle.’  It seems to be rather literal, an actual poodle.  I now think it’s kind of like the popularity of teacup terriers today – the dog is merely an extended accessory, an expensive, frivolous accessory, poor beast, or a substitute for a human being.

These clothes are all for pets.

These clothes are all for pets.

“What of that pretense of a woman that does not know, because she does not care, what her husband’s income is, and thus ruins him to keep up her position in society by living beyond their means? What an abortion on nature is that female that takes more pleasure in leading a poodle to a theater than in leading her family to the house of God. In every such case the poodle has fallen into bad company and should be protected by the society for the prevention of cruelty to animals. That creature is but a female and not a woman that can lead a young man to the card and wine table but whose heart is too shallow to lead a man to Christ.”

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Sweet Potato Fritters

sweet potato frittersI made this up this morning.  I like it.  The Boy is indifferent- he says it’s okay.  It’s whole30 compliant, gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, and filling.  It’s also adaptable- I happened to have certain ingredients on hand, but provided you have eggs and sweet potatoes you can make essentially the same thing with all kinds of variations.


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I grated one sweet potato:


2015-01-28 10.03.59This made two cups of grated sweet potato.

I stirred in some chopped cooked carrots left over from a pork roast I made a couple days ago:

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I diced the rest of the pork roast from that same supper:

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Then I added eggs- fresh layed eggs from my son’s hens, and these hens lay eggs with hard shells and thick, sturdy membranes, which means the yolks are still bright orange in the middle of winter, strong, and rich:

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Then I added the other stuff:

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Garlic, pepper, minced dried onion, salt, pepper, smoked dried pepper.  Chili peppers would be good.   So would a bit of kimchi.

I fried them in oil in a skillet 1/4 cup of batter per fritter:

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Flip when they start to set around the edge and begin dry in the center- they will be less shiny on top.



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I liked them, but wanted a little more, so I added some chopped green onions and:

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brine shrimp



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You can eat them plain or dip them in a dipping sauce or use ketchup, mustard, mayo, peanut sauce, or some combo.

I made a dipping sauce with a bit of sesame oil, coconut aminos, balsamic vinegar

Here’s the recipe without pictures, in case you want to print it:

2 cups grated sweet potato

3-5 eggs (depends on the size of your eggs, 3 if they are large, 5 if small, but it won’t change things too much to have extra egg)- mix until lemon colored.

1/4 cup of mashed cooked carrot (or other cooked vegetable, but this is optional)

3/4 cup of diced, cooked meat. I used pork.

four green onions, or to taste.  (Optional, but I prefer it)

Seasonings to taste- I used garlic, minced onion, salt, pepper and smoked paprika.  Red pepper would have been good.


Stir all of the above together until well blended. Meanwhile, start heating oil in the skillet. Coconut or sesame oil would be good.  I cut off a strip of fat from the piece of pork I used and greased my skillet with that.

Pour into a greased, hot skillet, 1/4 cup of batter for each fritter.

When the edges start to set and look a bit golder and the top is less shiny, flip and brown on the other side.

Stir the sweet potato mixture just before measuring it out for fritters each time.

When done, serve as is, between lettuce pieces, with a dipping sauce- your choice.


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Bollywood Movie Review: Daawat-e-ishq

Daawat-e-ishq_soundtrack_coverDaawat-e-Ishq- Basically family friendly, IMO, although you may feel differently.

Habib Faisal
Aditya Roy Kapur
Parineeti Chopra
Anupam Kher
Karan Wahi

One sentence summary: Rom Com Bollywood with a strong anti-dowry message.

Synopsis: The lead female character has been disappointed time and again in marriage talks which consistently break down when it comes to dowry issues. These dowry demands are unreasonably high and also illegal, and the movie is making some social points about the problems of dowry issues in India (Gulli reads her father an article about it which says at least one woman a day is murdered over dowry issues). The last straw is a truly painful episode where the young man had already convinced her he loved her, and he fails to stand up to his parents at all when they make expensive demands. Fed up and stinging from the pain of that episode, she convinces her father to entrap a wealthy family into making a dowry demand, catch it all on film and then blackmail them with the evidence of the crime. She wants to use the money for both of them to go to America where she will complete her dream of going to design school so she can support her father in his old age. She also swears off all other men altogether because she’s been so disappointed.

So they get fake identities and head off to Lucknow, because they are not known there, sign up on marriage sites and start making appointments with potential families for marriage talks, looking to catch the richest dowry hunters they can find.

You can guess where it’s going.

More background:
Her widowed father is a poor but honest civil servant; the honesty is why he’s poor. He dotes on his daughter, and the movie also makes a point of having him stress that daughters are as precious as sons and he has never wished for her to be a boy. It’s a little heavy handed, but sweet.

Gulli couldn’t afford to go to college, although she was an excellent student at a prestigious private high school. She works at a shoe-store but her dream is to design the shoes, not just sell them. She is feisty, smart, beautiful, and a little hot-headed. She also has some snobberies of her own- she breaks off one marriage discussion herself because she doesn’t like badly pronounced English of the young man (he has other flaws, but that’s the one that irks her the most), and she doesn’t like where his college degree is from. Given the predictability of this particular drama (Bollywood RomCom), I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that when she does fall in love, his English is broken and badly accented, and he didn’t even go to college.

What I liked: Well, it’s Bollywood. I think Bollywood Rom-Coms are predictable, fun, cheesy, corny, totally unrealistic, fluff with vibrant colours, gorgeous visuals, and delightful.

The actors playing Tariq (or Taru, the suiter), Gulli, and her father. They are really good and have great chemistry together and terrific magnetism for the camera.

Although it was heavy-handed, I liked the emphasis on the value of girls, on respecting your woman and loving her for her mind, not just for her beautiful face and figure. There’s an adorable conversation where the courting couple are at a local tourist site and a rotund older woman goes by, and the young man tells Gulli that it won’t matter to him if she gets chubby as they get older, will she care if he puts on weight?

I liked the father-daughter relationship a lot.

I liked the lead male. He’s brash, but he kind of needs to be for his business. He’s not immature, selfish, bratty, childish- the way often the lead males are in both K-dramas and Bollywood. The girl, actually, is brattier than he is.

What I didn’t like: It dragged on a little long.
The biggest frustration is when Gulli continues to push for cheating this family for far too long, long after she’s come to realize that they are not like the others and that she is falling in love with Taru. That was a really big flaw.

Just because it’s interesting: most of the Bollywood shows I’ve seen feature Hindu families. The families here are Muslim. There’s anti-arranged marriage song and dance number at the end that’s kind of heavy-handed. It would be interesting to watch this and Vivah back to back, since Vivah is a Bollywood fairy tale about an arranged marriage.

I have three other Bollywood reviews here, and there’s some good recommendations in the comments, too.

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The Ideal Young Woman of 1902 Will Not Lead a Poodle

lead a poodleFrom a book published in 1902:

THE following questions were sent out into all parts of the United States Answers came also from Canada and England:
I. Must the ideal young woman be a Christian?
2. Will she use slang or profane speech or lead a poodle?
3. Are dancing, card playing, or wine drinking accomplishments which you admire in her?
4. Does it mar or help her as an ideal to be able to keep house or make her own clothes?
5. Shall she help to make her own living, ie will she keep house or board?
6. Would you educate her in a female school or mixed school?
7. Shall we judge her by the same standard of morals by which we judge young men?
Shall she have fewer liberties than have young men?
8. What one thing do you admire most in young women?
9. What are some common faults of young women?
10. Would she cease to be ideal if she had the right to vote at all elections?

A few young ladies were solicited to answer to see how nearly they would agree with the young men.

One hundred per cent of both sexes say she must be a Christian.

seventy seven per cent of the young men say she will neither use slang, or profane speech, or lead a poodle. (no, I don’t know, either).

one hundred per cent would not allow her to drink wine while eighty eight per cent include dancing and card playing as things to be denied her.

one hundred per cent say she must have a knowledge of housekeeping whether she use it or not; every young man stands for housekeeping as against hotel or boarding house life.

seventy per cent of the men would educate her in a mixed school so as to give her a broader view of life. Monasteries for men and convents for women do not prepare them for greatest usefulness. All the young women answering prefer the mixed school.

sixty per cent of the young men advocate the same standard of morals for both sexes and would give her equal liberties with her brothers.

Character, truthfulness womanliness and sincerity were more universally named by the young men as the things they admire in her; seventy per cent gave shallowness and thirty per cent named fickleness as her most common faults.

Though one young man recently engaged said she had no faults.

Gossip, lack of purpose, selfishness, and insincerity were the most common faults named by the young ladies.

sixty per cent of the men and eighty per cent of the women would allow their ideal to vote.

So far as known these answers came from lawyers, college and high school students, college and university professors, ministers, business men, and government clerks.

And yes, there is a set of questions for the ideal young man, too.

Ideals for Young People, By Marion Edwin Harlan, Christian Publishing Company, 1902

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Have Heroes

heroes“OF the forces that can enter into the life of youth there are few of more importance than enthusiastic admiration for heroic men. To feel, from reading or observation, the impact of a great nature upon one’s own is to be changed forever afterwards, at least in ideals. It is to realize, as perhaps not even dreamed of before, what human nature is capable of. It is to comprehend to some degree the strength, the achievement possible to the human personality. It is to have kindled in you the aspiration to be a man of the same pattern, in so far as may be.

It is undoubtedly true that heroic men produce other heroes by example and inspiration. They rouse the wills and fire the ambitions of hosts of others. Emerson said he could not read of a strong action without being stirred with desire to act. The whole history of mankind is a tale of the kindling of many spirits by the few flaming geniuses. Plutarch’s Lives has for ages been a formative part of the reading of ambitious youths, who have been wakened by these records of powerful men to efforts in their own spheres. Alexander influenced Caesar and Caesar was the model of Napoleon.

The youth is already on the right course who feels his heart beat faster at the recountal of noble deeds, who has come to reverence high achievement. One of the surest signs of decadence in an individual or in a people is when nothing is admired, reverenced, or looked up to. The spirit that notes only faults and fails to perceive the strength and useful service of a great life is sapping its own inspirations. It is not uncommon to hear such carpings and criticisms of great men as cause them to be shorn of all attractiveness. There is a spirit that would belittle the best men and degrade them to the level of the meanest. When one has convinced himself that there is no real greatness or nobleness, he is not likely to strive to rise above his own convictions.

… It is not the outward circumstances or the exterior man of the hero that helps, but the spirit.

…We should avoid… the peril that threatens some natures when they come under the spell of a great man, of imitating his faults or the mere externals of his life, instead of grasping the force that was his real self. …It is not by imitating a gesture or a tone of voice or style that one is helped by a hero, but by emulating his pluck, courage, industry, spirit, and using these in one’s own circumstances and with one’s own talent.

The influence of a great soldier may help a man to fight his business troubles, to work his way through college, to make a speech, if he get the soldier’s spirit and apply it to his own life and work.

The value of heroes to us is to encourage us under hard conditions to keep before us the victorious possibilities of our own lives, if we make a brave fight, to show us the way in general, and to inspire us to keep on in the strife to develop our own faculties and to enlarge our own lives and their usefulness.”

Making the Most of Ourselves: Talks for Young People : Second Series
By Calvin Dill Wilson
A.C. McClurg & Company, 1909

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