Missionary Stomach? What Missionary Stomach

I used to be quite pleased with myself over my ability and willingness to eat pretty much anything here, and it did gain the admiration and appreciation of a number of locals. One lady in particular kept commenting on what she called my ‘missionary stomach.’ But my self-congratulation was mis-placed (it nearly always is).

I am Still fighting whatever this issue is. Multiple tests have come back negative, except the ultrasound which only suggests stage 1 fatty liver might be a possibility but more tests needed to confirm that. April 4th is the last totally normal day I have had. From time to time I have 2 days in a row where I can say, “Oh, I think things are starting to go back to normal” although on those two days it’s still not what I would ordinarily have called normal up to six weeks ago. But I never have a 3rd day of almost normal. The third day is spending the morning back to running to the bathrom every hour until about 10 or 11, and then I’m fine, provided I don’t eat anything else until 5 or 6 p.m. or later
Things I mostly do seem to be able to eat without huge problems:
Ramen, which seems weird.
a boiled egg
pumpkin soup
Buko juice (fresh coconut juice)
a piece of toast, sometimes with peanut butter, but sometimes not (we switched to a new brand and I think it’s a not, and the only difference is the new one seems sweeter and has palm oil instead of hydrogenated vegetable oil, and I would have thought the palm oil was better)
An apple
half a mango
half an avocado
3 or 4 soda crackers
miso soup
Very occasionally, a few bites of a rotisserie chicken

Not all those things at once, or even on the same day. But maybe two or three of them on a given day, spread out over the day. And even the above things aren’t necessarily fail proof.

Things I can’t seem to eat:
Anything else.

The doctor now suggests trying an elimination diet, but I’ve got 2 kids from the US coming to visit us in just a few days, and when they fly home I get to go with them and stay in the US for about 6 weeks, and I just don’t see how an elimination diet is going to be possible.

Also, picky person problem- Dr. recommend gatorade to help with the hydration issue, but all the gatorade I see here is blue, with very, very occasional sightings of red. I don’t like blue Gatorade at all, and red has always upset my stomach.

Also, you might be living in the Philippines when the neighbor who shares your back fence sings out a greeting one morning as you are both hanging out the clothes, and then also sings out loudly enough for the construction workers next door to hear, “Are you well now? I hear you have been having LBM all the time now!” (LBM= Loose Bowel Movement)

Also, I apologize for the contents of this post but another friend tells me he used to manage a missionary guest-house where people involved in a particularly busy and active translation work came and went regularly and he said the number 2 topic of conversation over the breakfast table was always, well, that.

Do you see what I did there? That was a highly perfunctory apology, was it not?

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