Door bells and telephone bells seem to have a sympathetic connection. When one rings, the other almost always will ring too. IF you are still in pajamas, the probability of both ringing at the same time increases by a factor of fifty.
Likewise, those mornings you sleep in late after going to bed leaving the front room in a state of disaster, don’t get dressed, and your hair is a mess will be the mornings somebody comes to the door.
The septic tank never backs up when I’ve had my shower, the dishes are clean, and I’m all caught up on laundry.
Children never get sick enough to make you wonder if they ought to go to the doctor on Mondays. No. This only happens on Friday night.
The quickest way to find something you’ve lost is to go ahead and buy a replacement.
Scheduling a family picture is a sure way to bring up a crop of cold sores, bad hair, blemishes and facial bruising, as well as a stopped up septic tank.
The item that falls out of the fridge will inevitably be the item that is the stickiest, splashiest messiest substance in the fridge, and the lid will always fly off.
The most brilliant, erudite, and lyrically written blog-posts are the ones you forgot to save when blogger or your computer cease to cooperate with you.