Between 5 and 6 a.m.

Staff: wa wa wa wa

Me: No, I don’t think she’s hurting anywhere at the moment because she’s not fidgeting and she seems comfortable, but even if she were hurting, she would not be able to tell you that and show you where. She doesn’t understand.

Staff: wa wa wa wa

Me: No, she can’t answer you. She’s totally nonverbal and functions at about the level of a 2 year old, sometimes less. There should have been something on her chart about that.

Staff: WA WA WA WA WA?

Me: She can’t talk. She can hear, so you can stop shouting.

I wasn’t joking.

Next Staff: wa wa wa wa

Me: Yes, She probably can take a deep breath, but she cannot understand what you are asking her to do. Try blowing in her face a couple of times, and she will probably take in a deep breath.

I really wasn’t joking.

Other Staff: wa wa wa wa wa

Me: Oh, time for another breathing treatment? No, you can’t put the mask on her. She doesn’t tolerate it. You have to just blow the mist on her face and we’ll hold her hands down.

Other Staff: wa wa wa wa wa wa wa

Me: She doesn’t know what you’re saying. She doesn’t understand ‘give us a deep cough.’

Other Staff: Wa wa?

Me: No, she’s totally nonverbal and functions at the level of a 2 year old or a little less. There should have been something on her chart about it.

Other Staff: WA WA WA!

Me: She can’t talk. She can hear, she just doesn’t understand you. You don’t have to shout. That won’t help.

I wasn’t joking.

Other, other staff: Wa wA WA?

Me: Sorry, wait. I know you just asked her if you could put the oxygen sensor on her fingers and she appeared to agree, but she doesn’t know the words oxygen sensor and she nods in agreement to every question she’s asked. We’ve tried putting the sensor on her fingers and it comes off in seconds. It’s on her toe and under her sock because that’s the hardest for her to get to so we have time to catch her and stop her from ripping it off.

Other other staff: Wa wa wa wa?

Me: Sorry, she won’t leave it on her ear, either, not even if we ask her nicely. IT comes off in less than half a second, and she really does not understand what you are asking her.

Other, other staff: Wa wa wa wwa?

Me: No, she’s nonverbal and she functions at the level of a 2 year old or a little less. There should be something on her chart about that.

Other, other staff: Wa wa wa wa

Me: Thanks. You, too.

New other, other staff: Wa wa wa wa.

Me: She can squeeze your fingers, but she doesn’t understand that request at all.

New other, other staff: wa wa wa wa wa

Me: No. She hears, but does not speak. Totally nonverbal. Functions at the level of a 2 year old more or less. There should be something on her chart…..

New other, other staff: Wa wa wa wa wa?

Me: She really can squeeze your fingers. You just have to ask her in a way that she can understand you. Tell her to sit up and reach out your hands and she will grab your fingers, then.

I really wasn’t joking.

New, other, other staff: wa wa wa wa wa.

Me: Yes, I’d be grouchy, too, if you woke me up at 6 a.m. to ask me if I can squeeze your fingers.

New, other, other, other staff: Wa wa wa?

Me: Yes, thanks. Coffee would be great. Can I get that in an IV?

He brought in four cups of coffee, and a fifth cup loaded with cream and sugar packets

P.S. Slightly exaggerated and condensed for the sake of the funny.  But the male healthcare assistant really and truly did bring me four cups of coffee and a fifth cup loaded to the top with cream and sugar packets.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

15 Comments

  1. Susan Humeston
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    How absolutely frustrating!!!! Prayers for your sanity, patience – and for you soon to get some REST.

  2. Posted March 12, 2014 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    Dear God, have mercy on your servant DHM. Please heal the Cherub quickly and let them out of there!

  3. harmony
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    How frustrating! And you’re there by yourself? :(

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted March 12, 2014 at 11:47 am | Permalink

      Mostly I have somebody with me. I was alone a few hours yesterday and I’ve been here by myself since early this morning.

  4. Kim L.
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    At least that last guy was nice.

    Praying you get out of there ASAP (Having to repeat myself that many times would tempt me to violence). Also praying that the wedding goes smoothly, with all the family arriving safely.

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted March 12, 2014 at 4:35 pm | Permalink

      They really have all been very, very nice. It’s just that are meeting people from multiple departments and have been here through more than a few shift changes.

  5. Cindy Watson
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    So so sorry!! Having to repeat and repeat yourself! So sorry.

  6. Donna
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    So was I supposed to read that “wa wa wa” with the voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher? Praying that you can all be home soon and that God blesses you with an extra helping of grace and patience. I am not sure I could handle it.

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted March 12, 2014 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

      Yes, exactly- Charlie Brown’s teacher. Remember, the Cherub is not the only one who gets grouchy at being awakened at 5 a.m., and I did say this was condensed and edited for the funny. They really are very people friendly here, but it is also true that I have to tell a surprising number of people that she still doesn’t talk.

  7. SEM
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    You all are in my prayers . . . .I saw this video of the Korean group called Davichi singing “A Goose’s Dream” last night, and thought you might like the sign language (starts around the 3:14 mark):

    http://youtu.be/jMmt1j3KGEA

  8. Holly
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    I’m sorry. We spent 3-4 months worth of time in the children’s hospital with our daughter last year. We were so blessed to have wonderful, caring staff. When I think of the times I gave them really bizarre symptoms and they listened I am incredibly in awe. When they were finally able to identify the problem but not solve it, they sent us on to a specialist half a country away who could. Together the two groups have worked together. Our daughter has not been hospitalized since August. I am incredibly in awe of how wonderful and kind everyone has been to our daughter and me. I wish your hospital staff could get it together. With everything you have going on just having people understand your daughter’s disability would be a good starting point. Praying for your family.

  9. elizabeth
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    They should put a sign above the bed saying she is nonverbal And Has Difficulty understanding. It allows both skilled and unskilled employees to know this an information right out of the gate. As a nurse we’ve put signs up for arm precautions, deaf/hard of hearing, language barriors.

  10. Lynn
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    you have heroic patience. sad to hear that is what is required in these situations, but it is often the case. Long ago, when I was a child, I had the mistaken “idea” the staff were supposed to be the ones with heroic patience, in cases of ill child/distressed parents. sadly, it is, thesedays, often the reverse.

    good job. your child is most fortunate to have you.

    (and sounds like male healthcare assistant is a blessing)>

  11. Rachel
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

    Bless that male health care assistant with coffee.

  12. Lisa Beth W.
    Posted March 12, 2014 at 9:06 pm | Permalink

    Wow, being an advocate for your child is nerve-straining, isn’t it? You’re getting lots more experience with that lately! You’re doing a super job, DHM, and your children and husband are so blessed by you! Keep up the good work, mama!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>