February: My Mini Resolutions

where your heart isIn January I posted my mini New Year’s Resolutions, and I planned to update the first of February and revise as needed.

It’s not pretty.

Eating: I said I wanted my family to do 30 days of whole foods–  Eight days of hospital living when the FYG broke her arm didn’t help us further this goal, and the fact that I was the only one on board with it and too stressed to be thinking well about cooking once we got home also didn’t help.  It’s really a total bust.

Business: I also wanted to get two Kindle books ready for publishing.  Again, the 8 days in the hospital and the complications of taking care of a girl in much pain, who couldn’t get to teh bathroom or shower by herself once we got home also rendered this goal unattainable.    I have to confess that it also didn’t help that I had procrastinated too much in the first two weeks of January.


Reading and Spirituality: IN January, I want to try a plan to read through the Bible in a month, and read two books.  I didn’t get through the Bible. Leviticus is where all good read through the Bible plans go to die.  I didn’t read two books, but I did finish one- Speaker for the Dead: 2 (The Ender Quintet). I’m previewing them for my son. I have to say that I think if you’re a teen reading these books, you probably want to read the parallel books before you go on to the sequels. Ender’s Shadow: 1 (The Shadow Series) is the book I am reading now and want to finish this month, but, um, I misplaced it somewhere along the way.

Health: IN January I said “I want to work my way up to exercising just 20 minutes a day. I am in such sad shape. Carrying the laundry basket from my room to the laundry room gives me back spasms that have me doubled over in pain. A more doable goal is probably leave my room for more than half an hour a day, it’s just that bad. We’ll see.”  I can’t say I exercised, but I left my room and my whole house for the entire 8 days our daughter was in the hospital.  I stayed in the room with her 24 and 7.  That was for several reasons- one, we didn’t have the time, free vehicles, or gas money to make the over an hour long round trip each day. Two- the weather would have made it impossible to come or go a couple of those days.  Three: she was in an incredible amount of pain and often couldn’t sleep at all unless her father or I were there to rub her head and hold her hand.  Four: This was a hospital where the oncall orthopedic specialist had refused to come in at all, the orthopedic office that finally agreed to accept her promised  us were were getting one surgeon (this was the condition for us not leaving the hospital 24 hours after arrival), and then the day of the first scheduled surgery quietly tried to slip in a different surgeon (one we’d never seen or spoken to) without telling us- they just put the new name on the consent forms.   We frankly did not trust them.

For the rest of February I expect to be too busy with our daughter’s physical therapy and basic care needs to make any reasonable goal in this area.

Cooking: In January I said I wanted to make four new Korean foods. Dokbokki; Kimchi; Cubed radish kimchi (http://www.maangchi.com/recipe/kkakdugi); beansprout banchan.  I didn’t.  Same reason as above.  I did, however, make a different, laughably easy banchan- sesame broccoli.  Yum.

Family: In January, I want to have 3 family game nights.  Well, they weren’t exactly family game nights, but we did have a lot of games in January with the FYG- card games, mostly.

Organizing: In January, I wanted to declutter and reorganize the laundry room, and go through at least one book-case and get rid of some books  As of February, I didn’t get this done, but I did make a surprising amount of progress, given the January we had.   So I am good with continuing this in Febrary..

School for us, I said, ” is a given. There are some improvements that could be made, but it’s the one thing I’ve been keeping on top of to some degree. I plan to continue.”  Humble pie.  There was almost no school for most of January.   Pain meds made it hard for our daughter to concentrate. My son has many gifts, character strengths,  and talents but sticking to his school work diligently when I am not at home watching him like a hawk is not one of them.

Here’s a conversation my daughter and I had just today:

FYG: I’m reading about guilt. Do you feel guilty about anything?
Me: I am a mom. I feel guilty about everything. You are the macknae daughter. You feel guilty about nothing.
FYG: I have nothing to feel guilty about.
Me, pointing to her unread school books, a source of some head butting here today: You should feel guilty about not doing any school for the last two weeks.
Me: You read your schoolbooks with your leg?
FYG: Well. My leg *helps*.

I finally nagged her into actually reading some more schoolbooks.  After about fifteen minutes of that, we had this conversation:

FYG: Nail break! I need to redo my nails.
Me: That’s all you do.
FYG: What else am I supposed to do with my leg like this?
I wave the schoolbook in her face and tap her on the nose with it.
FYG: Is that a hint?
Me: No. It’s an order.
FYG: Doing my nails is also schoolwork, you know. It’s arts and crafts.
Me: Read. Your. Book.

It looks like my goals for January were a bust, doesn’t it?  But I am okay with that.  During the two or three short weeks required to be very hands on with my 17 year old daughter, we built some precious memories and an even closer relationship.  I noticed the same for her and her siblings- already very, very close, they had further bonding opportunities once the FYG came home from the hospital.  Because she needs help in the middle of the night the two older sisters still at home took turns sleeping with her at night in the downstairs guestroom, and her brother sleeps on the couch in case they need him.  I do not love the pain she’s been in and I am not thrilled about the hard, painful work she has ahead of her as she begins physical therapy to regain the use of her leg and foot and as we fight the scarring condition she has.  But I love the hearts for service I see in her extended family, and I love that she has seen and completely understands how very cherished she is.

So, here’s February’s Goals:

Maintain the warmth.

Get back on track with school.

Finish organizing my laundry room and going through the books in there, culling as I go.

Make cubed radish kimchi and dokbokki.

Read through the Old Testament

Read two other books (one of them being Ender’s Shadow)

Advance to level 18 in Spanish at Duolingo

Watch four sign language videos on Youtube to beef up my signing.

Clean my fridge (yeah, it’s so bad it needs to be a goal this month).

Finish up those two Kindle books for sale.

Take life as it comes in lieu of any of the above.


vintage valentineWhat about you?

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  1. B. Durbin
    Posted February 4, 2014 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

    “Leviticus is where all good read through the Bible plans go to die.”

    Either there or Numbers. ‘And then these people died. And then these people died. And then have you lost the thread yet?’

  2. Lynn
    Posted February 4, 2014 at 5:48 pm | Permalink

    Ambitious goals..me I read folks like you, however, I only work on one thing at a time..sigh…

    Scarring..? is she still having trouble with the sores healing? Sorry to hear this. Are they healing and it is just a scarring issue, or is it trouble healing?

    I am sorry for the trouble you mention at the hospital, however, in a way it makes me feel like less of a failure for also have much similar troubles…sigh

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted February 4, 2014 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

      She has a scarring condition that really concerns me. It’s not a cosmetic matter, I am worried about her hypertrophic scarring going crazy internally and hindering movement. It already happened once before and she cannot straighten out one of her toes after a successful surgery where she regained movement for a few months before the scarring took over and stiffened it.

      • Lynn
        Posted February 4, 2014 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

        I am sorry to hear about the hypertrophic scarring. It sounds like (fr the way you phrase it), this has given her trouble previously.

        I cannot recall what/where, but am thinking I may have read something about some particular food/food combination/herbs, which has been used to mitigate this type of condition.

        Maybe someone else reading might have come across it.

  3. Fatcat
    Posted February 4, 2014 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    Take life as it comes – sometimes that’s all you can do.

  4. Diana
    Posted February 4, 2014 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

    I dive-bombed on the Whole30 too! Twelve days in, I hit a day or two where I really neglected to plan for food, so I ended up eating… eggs. For about two days straight. Nothing else. At the end of that, I was so vulnerable to temptation that when I met an apple cake in the kitchen (making it for CHURCH, I promise), I was unable to resist the temptation. It was ugly. Goodbye, Whole30!

    Love reading about your adventures!!

  5. Posted February 4, 2014 at 9:03 pm | Permalink

    My reading plans always die in Psalms, it’s like Kryptonite, SO MUCH poetry, oh the poetry.

    I did somewhat okay with my goals….

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted February 4, 2014 at 9:19 pm | Permalink

      Funny how it catches us all differently. I love the poetry. I could read it over and over. My favorite Bible study program was the year I read through Psalms at least 20 times.

  6. Anita
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 7:00 am | Permalink

    “Maintain the warmth” HAAAAA! A goal every day in this joint 😉

    My Resolutions might look more like … wistful goals?
    Already gave up coffee this year (easier than I thought, still drinking breakfast tea which I have come to like better — and I DID NOT think that was possible).
    Keeping up with homeschool — AND documenting what we do each day (another huge step)
    Gave up TV almost completely excepting one program for the children each evening and one after their bedtime for me and the Hubby (Downton Abbey is just too good) but we canceled DirectTV and have pared down the subscription shows to two or three (another huge one)
    Made my own soap last week (melt and pour with essential oils, don’t get excited) and am looking in to making my own shampoo (big step since I have found no thorough reviews of the soap flake and almond oil method — anyone? anyone?)
    Reading and praying okay, could always do better *practicing* what I’ve endeavored, but the Lord knows this 😉
    …I’m listing all this because I don’t think I give myself enough credit, as many if us don’t. We tend to focus on what we haven’t accomplished as opposed to what we have. (Fluent Spanish? Finishing an ENTIRE BOOK? Let alone THREE? The Bible in ONE MONTH? I would never get there. My goals are a little less lofty! LOL!)

    Exercise a little more, eat a little less — by that I mean take more walks and bike rides with the kids (who are 6, 4, and 20 months), garden more, eat a little more moderately with more veg. The weight came off with babies one and two. Baby three’s chub has stuck around. Stubborn and frustrating. I truly hope it’s not permanent (is it?). I need to stretch more every day. Getting stiff in my old age and the back ain’t what she used to be. I have no illusions that I’m going to turn into a jogger or that I will go back to my pre-kid days when I worked out for an hour and a half most days. That was fun then, just sounds like torture now.

    Make more bread — because it’s better (a little too much “better”, nom nom nom) and because bread is so eye-poppingly expensive! I can buy a bag of flour for the cost of one loaf. I mean, please! The trick is staying ahead of it so that I don’t have to bake bread every single day. ….However, having said that, I realize that’s exactly what my grandmother and great grandmothers did. Especially biscuits — three times a day most days. So… what’s my gripe again?

    I really, really, REALLY want to have a vegetable garden this Spring. But we don’t have enough sun or space anywhere. And I’m not able to install a raised garden due to lack of funds…. I wonder if cinder blocks in a sunny corner would do the same thing. And I know of a method of growing some root veg (like potatoes) in buckets…. Hmm… Still mulling this one over… Do have an herb garden already. I just really want lettuce and tomato. You know, those things that are (again) cost prohibitive at the grocer’s and usually (read: always) taste better home grown.

    I think a GREAT goal for me would be to actually finish ONE book that I’ve started. I am the world’s WORST about this, kid you not. I start a book, read a little for a day or two and then start another. I almost never finish one. Because I’ve started another. And another. And another. There is so much I want to read and that I find fascinating or inspiring that I can’t settle on JUST ONE. It’s like having literary ADD. I tried only having two books at a time available on my kindle… But the cloud is always accessible so that went out the window. And there are always new books popping up that I want to read. It’s frustrating. IM frustrating! 😀 Perhaos this goal should be stated thus: “I resolve to read one book, and only one book, for one week.” Maybe that would give me enough time to actually want to finish it after the week has ended or to decide that it’s not worth going any further. But now I have to make the agonizing decision — WHICH BOOK?

    Love your blog. You make me laugh and cry and think. 🙂

  7. 6 arrows
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

    Well done, DHM. This: “During the two or three short weeks required to be very hands on with my 17 year old daughter, we built some precious memories and an even closer relationship.” Even if nothing else had gotten done, that is HUGE. Relationship-building. You done good.

    We won’t talk about how well (“well” being a euphemism) I did on the four goals I shared in the comments on the “January” post. 😉 I did manage to be on schedule with my Bible reading plan come the end of January, although I fell behind once or twice maybe during that month.

    February goals? Maybe I’ll just concentrate on “Do the next thing.”

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