I want to share a special blog about a very sensitive, but very important and precious topic.
Because it is so sensitive, I thought I’d also share that this blog is done by the real life friend of a real life friend of mine. Got that? In short,the two of us have a mutual friend we both known IRL (In Real Life), though I have only ‘met’ her through her blog, and vice versa, (and one FB message). The three of us share a few things in common- faith, love of family, all of us have added to our families through both adoption and biology. Our mutual friends and I homeschool (we go the same homeschool camp every fall), I don’t know if Jennifer does or not.
Something else we share is that we really value the precious lives of the least of those among us.
Jennifer’s family are pursuing embryo adoption, and she has a very helpful FAQ on it here. Here’s an excerpt:
Why should I adopt embryos instead of doing IVF?
I realize I’m not going to make friends on this one. Hold on tightly.We have battled infertility. We have been through the ultrasounds, the blood work, the pokes and prods. We have experienced the feelings of hope, followed by utter despair. When a doctor says, “I can help you,” you sit up straighter, you listen and you’re ready to say ‘yes.’ We were those people. When we came to a crossroads of IVF or adoption, we just happened to choose adoption. Given a different doctor or a different husband, it would have gone very differently.Five years later, I began researching embryo adoption. I was horrified to uncover that freezing embryos is incredibly hard on them–so hard on them that 20-40% die during the thawing process simply because they undergo so much trauma from low temperatures and toxic chemicals. The National Embryo Donation Center (the agency we are working with) has been tracking their survival rates and they align closely with the averages found in other places. Here are a couple of sources I grabbed quickly, but there is a lot of information out there about this. IVF MiraclesWaitingSo here’s the point. If you’re considering IVF, know that freezing your children almost certainly means some of them will die. If you’re not willing to do that, there is still hope. Embryo adoption is a beautiful way to save the life of a tiny baby while still experiencing the things most infertile couples want: pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding, etc. It just eliminates some of the ethical questions surrounding freezing embryos and turns worrisome infertility treatments into an amazing blessing for everyone.
As our long time readers know, though we do have a large family by most US standards, we have also dealt with secondary infertility. There’s a six year gap between the Equuschick and Pip, and that wasn’t by choice. That gap is no longer a gaping hole, because the Lord in his mercy, filled it when we adopted The Cherub and Jenny-Any-Dots when Pip was two and they were nearly 6 and 4. I did research fertility treatments at the time (the late 80s), and decided I could not, in good conscious, pursue IVF. I have ever been mindful of the fact that I was figuring out these questions when I already had two children, and in the few conversations I have had on this hard and difficult topic, I have acknowledged that, while I hope my decision would have been the same, no matter what, I really don’t know what I would have felt and done if I hadn’t.
They will be chronicling their journey with embryo adoption on the blog. Bookmark it and check it out.