Elf on the Shelf, Nope

Some people are good at clever things, at thinking up creative, witty, amusing ideas.

Like the Elf on the Shelf marketing dude who found a few hundred thousand of these leftover in an old Chinese warehouse and came up with this amazing marketing plan.

Like the parents who bought into it and now have little elves who have snow fights with the powedered sugar, bake cookies, decorate trees, and perform starlit Christmas pageants on the front lawn for invisible angels.

I have no such talents.  I’m the mom who can’t even remember to put money under the pillow for the tooth fairy.  In the early years we handled this by one parent consoling our sobbing, tooth fairy forsaken child while the other scrambled in the couch cushions for change and surreptitiously hid it in the pillow while pocketing the tooth, and then we’d say, “Honey, are you sure you checked thoroughly?  Maybe you should check again?”

In the later years we didn’t have to do this because the older siblings had pity on their younger siblings for having such clueless parents, so they’d remind us, and, often as not, loan us the money.

In the late, late, later years, we’d just respond to the grinning, toothless child, “Hey, cool.  Can I borrow a buck for the tooth fairy?”

I jest.  But only about the late, late, later years.

So we could never, ever, ever, never have managed an elf on the shelf project.

I am good at making fun of things, though.   My two favorite elf on the shelf things I’ve seen this year are:

This blog post

And this facebook pic my daughter Pip posted:

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4 Comments

  1. Posted December 17, 2013 at 6:08 pm | Permalink

    Our kids still don’t know there is such a thing as a tooth fairy or that losing a tooth entitles one to cash. I hope they don’t find out and we have to make some kind of reparation lump-sum payment.

    • Headmistress, zookeeper
      Posted December 17, 2013 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

      Our kids were stunned to learn how much other kids get. For years they just get a quarter. towards the end, the youngest two got as much as a dollar in change, if we could scrape up that much. I should have mentioned, too, that they always knew we were the tooth fairy, so they were never terribly surprised by the tooth fairy’s incompetence.

      • Stacey
        Posted December 17, 2013 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

        Ironically, I remember being jealous of how much your kids got when they lost teeth. :-)

        • Headmistress, zookeeper
          Posted December 17, 2013 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

          That’s hilarious.

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