Brainy Fridays: The Extroverted Busybrain

Father Son Extroverts

Now, one would think that The Equuschick would be quite the expert on how to be the Introverted Mother of the Extroverted Busybrain, as this essentially describes herself and the Dread Pirate Grasshopper to the proverbial “t.” But full disclosure?

The Equuschick has been blessed immensely by the Aunt Colony a mile down the road at the Common Room house as the DPG is often able to spread out a great deal of his enthusiastic extroversion, like a tidal wave, over there.

She is also blessed by the fact that the Dread Pirate Grasshopper’s father is every bit a Party Animal himself, as you see by the picture of the two of them hogging the stage together. It is not at all uncommon for the DPG and Shasta to head off to museums, zoos, or what-nots, together, while the girls stay home and read books.

Nonetheless, there are days when The Equuschick is completely overwhelmed by the DPG’s enthusiasms and days when the Dread Pirate Grasshopper is obviously losing his mind for lack of social interaction.

The things to do when you are completely overwhelmed by your Ex. BB are actually the exact same things that most moms of littles need to be doing regularly anyway, but perhaps for the introverted mothers among us who craved solitude who even before they had children, they are especially crucial.

1. Institute a Quiet Time.

This is hard to do, in the beginning. But you’re going to have to think of it like a savings account. Some days, you will put in way more than you get out of it. Stick with it anyway, and it will be your greatest asset.

Sneaky Tip: Ok, this is embarrassing. But true. If you an Ex. BB, than chances are you have a die-hard sleep fighter. You know the CD rule, right? Have a Quiet Time Storybook/Lullabye CD, and they can get up when the music stops? This is the best rule, especially before they can tell time, for quiet time. Ever. So you should have this rule anyway. And if you have an Ex. BB, who is famous for fighting sleep, put the CD on repeat.

There you are.

Your child is not going to enjoy a Quiet Time it in the beginning, not one bit. They aren’t going to like it until you have made it enough a part of their routine that they are reconciled to it, so expect work. You might have to work for months, but it WILL pay off.

*Put Mommy in Time Out.

The Equuschick discovered this idea quite by accident, and out of desperation, a couple weeks ago. She felt herself coming upon a Moment, and the Ladybug and the Dread Pirate were both clamoring, and she put herself in time out. She explained that was going to need a time out, and then set the timer for five minutes and instructed the children not to bother Mommy for five minutes, because she was in Time Out.

It worked like a charm.

*Savor the small spaces.

There are, if you’re looking for them, various spaces and places throughout the day where you’ll suddenly find that you are all alone in a room and the children are happily occupied elsewhere.

Sometimes, they are happily occupied because they are playing with knives in the kitchen in which case, your Ninja Sense will kick in and you should intervene.

But if your Ninja Sense doesn’t kick in, it is remotely possibly that they are entertaining themselves for five seconds. You might be in the middle of cooking supper, but stop cooking supper, sit down on the floor, close your eyes- and breathe.

EXPECT it to only last Five Seconds. Where we get into trouble with this one is that we raise our expectations. If you expect only seconds, and savor those seconds, it isn’t too bad.

So much for the introverted mother end of things. What to do with the Ex. BB?

The Equuschick should like to exercise caution here, because just as we introverts that God created us, and our introversion doesn’t need “fixing”, so also God created the extroverts of the world, and they certainly don’t need fixing either. Extroverts need to be accepted as they are, and certain compensations and adjustments need to made in the family for their needs.

But they key word here is “needs.” It is ok to ask the extrovert to grow to a place where they can be content by themselves at times, to teach the extrovert how to take time out to reflect as well as to socialize. To teach them who the are, and how to entertain themselves.

The Equuschick first wrote about this here.

Just as you would sometimes stretch your introvert, and ask her to face uncomfortable situations, it is also acceptable to stretch your extrovert.

That being said, some needs are truly needs and sometimes what a family made up of introverts and extroverts needs is a compromise. Instead of every outing being to a zoo, a museum, a theme park or other such extremely stimulating day trips, it might be helpful to look for social events that are lower-key and closer to home.

*Library programs: Story hours, special events such as a magician’s show, a nature show?
*State or other local parks often have very child-friendly programs that are low-key, but educational and social activities at the same time.
*At least in The Equuschick’s experience, a small farmer’s market so can be a great place for an introverted mother and an extroverted child to go together. The extroverted child chats everyone up to such an extent that the introverted party barely has to speak a word at all, and meanwhile, the introverted mother is quietly contemplating fresh vegetables.
*Make it a point to take your extrovert grocery shopping and other errand running with you. You have to do it anyway, let the extrovert come and chat up the cashiers. Meanwhile, you’re teaching consumer home-ec, math, geography (we turn left here, right here, etc…)
*Local free concerts, if your family is musically inclined.

And etc. You get the idea, yes? Local, social, yet low-key.

Ooh, and here’s a random freebie: This is an interesting looking book on these subjects. Anyone read it?
The Crazy Genius: The Connection Between Creativity, Intelligence And Genius, Are Introverts Or Extroverts Geniuses? Elements Of Creative Genius And Fallacies About Genius

That’s all for now, folks. Thanks for reading!

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