The one who just had his third birthday in September, says stuff like this:
Auntie to the DPG as they settle down to watch a movie: Do you want a blanket?
The DPG: No, thanks. I have pants.
His very pregnant and due any day mum says to his little sister: Hey, girlie, pretty soon you won’t be the baby anymore.
The DPG looks shocked and demands to know why.
“Because,” his Mommy reminds him, “We’re going to have another baby.”
His lip quivers, “But,” he wails, “I want to keep this one!”
Fortunately, his mom explained they were keeping her, she just wouldn’t be the youngest any more.
The Dread Pirate Grasshopper: “Were cows on the ark?”
His Mama: “Yes, dear. Cows were on the ark.”
The DPG: “Did Noah bring toilet paper on the ark?”
Mama: *trains of thought completely shattered* “Um, yes. I’m sure Noah had everything he needed to use the bathroom on the ark.”
The DPG: “Well, I think he had toilet paper on the ark to blow the noses of the cows.”
His mama, reading his animal alphabet book. “Deer are shy gentle creatures who eat grass and like to sleep in the forest.”
“OR,” says The DPG, “they get SHOT and end up in a mouth.”
That last one is my favorite. So practical, so true, and so much of a fact of his life that his grandpa and uncle put meat on the table by their shooting skills.