Four Moms Q and A

Q. How exactly does it work that some books are banned to certain children, logistically wise? I mean, do your minor kids have to ask you before starting any book? (i.e They pull it off the shelf at home and have to ask you before starting?) Are books that not everyone is allowed to read kept on a special shelf or something? (BTW, I’m not criticizing banning certain books to certain children until they are mature enough or anything and actually think it’s a pretty wise decision, but am just curious as to how it actually works in everyday life.)

Yes, they are supposed to ask me before starting any book. I do have the shelves arranged so that, say, chapter books for gradeschoolers are all in one place whereas books at the level of Jane Austen, Sir Walter Scott, Orson Scott Card, Wodehouse, Chaim Potok, etc, are in another room, and all my mysteries are in yet another place. Anybody can read any books on the shelves in the dining room. I wanted to be asked before the youngsters picked a book off the other shelves.
In practice, this worked really well with my first five, and the youngest two have a greater tendency to ‘forget’ that they were supposed to ask first, and I have a lesser tendency to care.

Does your family use essential oils?
My family uses some, but we don’t use the popular multilevel marketing version you see a lot in homeschooling circles. The founder of that company (which is named after himself) for a while claimed he had an ND degree at a doctorate level and it turns out it came from an unaccredited diploma mill with no authority to grant degrees.  I find that unethical enough to question his other claims.

When I have asked distributors for independent studies supporting the claims they make for their oils (including that they cure cancer!), I have only ever been given cites to studies that are anything but independent- for example, a study where the company owner himself is the second author of the paper, and one of his employees is the first author.  In fact, I have a good many ethical concerns with this company, the founder’s history, how it does business, the claims it makes, and the training it gives its distributors, and the claims many of them make that I will never buy anything from this company.

If you’re looking into oils, you should know that ‘Therapeutic grade’ has no official legal meaning. Within the industry it’s kind of an accepted term with a generally understood meaning, but any company can call their product ‘therapeutic grade,’ and there is more than one company that carries ‘therapeutic grade’, undiluted, or wildcrafted oils.

For those, like me, who cannot in good conscience join an MLM company and especially that one, http://www.anandaapothecary.com looks interesting, but you can google ‘therapeutic grade’ or ‘wildcrafted essential oils’ or visit your health food store to find others.

This article has some interesting information on which oils are safe for ingestion and under what conditions.

A lot of people like some version of thieves oil.

I’ve used it and can’t say it impressed me very much one way or the other, except it smelled nice.

I mainly use them because I like the smells. I do use eucalyptus for kids with stuffy noses.  I add tea tree oil to vinegar to spray on bathtub mildew. I like rosemary and lemongrass for cleaning and I believe lemongrass repels flies. I like lavender and orange together because they smell wonderful.

I would love to hear more about The Cherub! Even more specifically, I’d love to hear how you keep her involved in the family activities. We have a son who is very similar to her – he is 3 1/2 and is not talking, walking, or crawling (and may or may not ever do any of the above). He is super-easy-going, but I find that one of my main challenges is how to get keep him involved with all of us since he doesn’t know how to play and can’t follow the other children when they are running about. But I’d love to hear anything more about your daughter!

Instead of involving her in family activities which she doesn’t like, can’t do, finds overwhelming or just boring, we involve the family in her activities.  Periodically, I actually assign different children to do different things with her.  This can range from activities as simple as singing the same song with her every day after lunch, coloring together (she colors while they do copywork), doing a puzzle together, or reading a book to her to her activities as complex as getting her dressed or giving her a bath, depending on the ‘child.’  My son is supposed to give her the daily dose of acidophilous she takes.  When she (and they) were younger, their activities were more along the lines of singing, playing pat-a-cake, or sharing a snack together.

I’d love to hear your views/strategies for church/pew behavior and expectations with little ones.

I’ve written some ideas here.

Authors recommended for history?

We prefer real books, living books, to textbooks.  I like older books for the most part, because the language is richer, the syntax more complex and the stories more interesting.  Here are a few of our favorites:

Our Island Story by Marshall
The Story of Mankind; a Picturesque Tale of Progress by Olive Miller
Young People’s Story of Our Heritage, by Hillyer and Huey
This Country of Ours by Marshall
R. J. Unstead’s Books, especially those set from about the middle ages to the 1800s.

Churchill’s History of the English Speaking Peoples
Arguing about Slavery, William Miller

We also like biographies and some historical fiction for seasoning.

I had a few questions that were variations on the same topic- how an introvert handles a large family without burning out:
Mandatory quiet time. This probably saved my sanity many times, but especially when we went from three to five children (with three of our kids in diapers) literally overnight.
Teach them to read as soon as you can and have quiet reading periods each day.
No electronics, especially lights flashing, whirring, burring, and bells dinging sorts of things.
No music except pleasant classical music during school hours
Mandatory outside play for a period of time each day.
Periodically play ‘quaker,’ where everybody has to be silent and you see who can be the quietest for the longest.
Bubble baths when your husband gets home and takes over with the kids.

Lose the public school mentality.  I am not a lecturer in the front of a classroom. I am more like a coach and a manager.  I pull together resources for my kids to use, but I get between them and the material as little as possible.  They do a lot of the reading on their own.

It’s okay to put a pillow over your head and wail “everybody STOP TALKING” every once in a while.

Celestial Seasonings Herb Tea, Tension Tamer, 20-Count Tea Bags (Pack of 6)

Yogi Kava Stress Relief, Herbal Tea Supplement, 16-Count Tea Bags (Pack of 6)

Consider cutting back on caffeine.  I realized this might be wise once when I ever so tentatively suggested to my husband, “I’m wondering if maybe caffeine makes me a little cranky,” and that gentle, sweet, quiet man blurted out, “YOU THINK?!”

Oh- and here’s one more technique I used.=)

Visit the other Four Moms and see what they have to say!

Connie at Smockity Frocks, married 25 years, mom to 8. We were blog buddies for a year or two before we realized that we had very dear mutual friends in real life. How cool is that?!

Kim at Life in a Shoe, homeschool grad, mama to a family of 13

Raising Olives, married 15 years, mama to 11, homeschooling graduate herself-
Me, DeputyHeadmistress and former Zookeeper (I gave up keeping a zoo when coyotes and coons killed our chickens) of this blog, The Common Room and our cooking blog, The Common Kitchen; married 30 years, mom to seven plus unofficial foster mom to two little boys, Mama-in-Law to two, and Grandmama to four blessings under 3, with number 5 on the way, and yes we are very proud.=)

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We four moms also wrote a book together, and you can buy the Four Moms parenting book, which you can get as a Kindle or as an e-book document:

Here’s where to get more information on how to buy our parenting ebook or become an affiliate, which is another way of making some extra income.

See my other Kindle books, too:

101 Answers to the Summertime, “Mom, I’m Bored” Blues; help your kids use their free time creatively and productively. Give them ideas that will help them use their time and energy to create, to learn, to grow- to contribute. This is not your average ‘keep the kids out of your hair’ book.

Required Poems for Reading and Memorizing (annotated); Charming collection of older poems that you and the kids just might love.

Ten Low-Carb Snacks and Quick Meals Okay, actually, there’s a little more than ten, and they aren’t merely low-carb, they are also sugar-free, grain-free, gluten free. NOT dairy-free.