A New Year in Kefir Chronicles

The Equuschick rang in the New Year making kefir cheese. This would sound more impressive had she not broken a plate, spilled kefir in the fridge, and stabbed herself with a thumbtack in what ought to have been a very simple “place cheesecloth in colander, place colander in bowl, pour kefir in colander and let sit overnight” process.

However, the result, though strong, is edible and tasty with crackers. The Equuschick was forced into attempting cheese because she and the Ladybug are the only folk in her family who will consume kefir. Shasta is opposed on principle because, he says, “He doesn’t want his gut colonized with strange lifeforms, thank-you.”

This has led to many interesting conversations.

“Why do you have to make cheese? Why can’t you just quit growing kefir?” “Because it is a new hobby. Everyone needs some hobbies. Why can’t you just eat my hobby?” This comment was followed by a strange look. The Equuschick took another tack. “Look, I don’t have any indoor pets anymore. Not so much as a goldfish. The kefir fills this empty time slot in my day.” “Why can’t you fill this empty time slot in your day with house-cleaning?” “You’re being very insensitive, dear. Kefir is more fun than house-cleaning. Besides, you need it. Your gut is SUPPOSED to be colonized with strange lifeforms.” “Well, mine isn’t anymore. The Pepsi killed all the strange lifeforms.” “Which is precisely why you, of all people, should be eating my hobby.”

A few days later, on the way to a Korean restaurant, Shasta says “I hope they have kimchi, I’ve missed kimchi.” “Could you explain to me why you will eat cabbage that has been buried underground for six months but you won’t touch kefir?”

He couldn’t. But we can’t all be rational all the time, can we then?

Happy New Year!

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7 Comments

  1. Marie R.
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    I approve of this post. :D Thanks for making me laugh!

  2. Posted January 1, 2013 at 4:31 pm | Permalink

    Oh gracious. Kefir is a blast to culture! It doesn’t take long, and is just such fun to observe. And it’s yummy besides. I bet kefir cheese is even yummier….

  3. Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:18 am | Permalink

    I must say, I’m with Shasta. Kimchi is yummy. That’s the difference. I’ll keep quiet about it though if you need me to…

  4. Headmistress, zookeeper
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    It may not be rational, but for me the difference between Kimchi and Kefir is that one is a dairy product and one isn’t. It’s harder for me to swallow. Heh.

  5. Harmony
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

    Too funny. Though my kimchi is never buried underground, thank-you-very-much. It just lives in the refrigerator for a month or two. :-)

    (And what kind of Korean restaurant doesn’t have kimchi? That would be very sad.)

  6. GrannyTea
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

    Thank you for the wee sample, but you need not “waste” more on me. Quite a strong, fermented taste. hmmmm “civilized moonshine?”

  7. Cass
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    I love (love, love, love) kefir, but you could try making kimchi as a hobby also. I make my own (though without the fancy temperature controlled kimchi fridges they have in Korea) and it’s very easy, with little active prep time. I ferment it on the counter for a few days to get it started before moving it to the fridge, and it seems to work quite well. While more subtle and complex flavors develop much later, it’s definitely tasty within a week.

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