Weddings from a Younger Sibling’s Point of View

I had a fun conversation with one of my daughters a week or so ago- I won’t say which one. Although this wedding is about as laid back as a wedding can be and still be called a wedding, she finds ‘all these weddings in the family’ (two daughters in one year) to just be too much trouble, and STrider and Shasta are nice enough, of course, she loves them and it’s fun when they come over and do things with the family, but honestly, why couldn’t they just keep doing that? Marriage is SUCH a big change and it’s so much trouble, and why would anybody want to do that, why can’t things just stay as they are, fun, pleasant, and nice?

And the next night I read New Graft on the Family Tree, by Isabella Macdonald Alden, Grace Livingston Hill’s aunt, published in 1880, and burst out laughing.

At the beginning of the book Louise, a soon-to-be-bride to Lewis, is preparing her trunks because the happy couple is forced by circumstances to live a long way away from her family, and her younger 17 year old sister is thinking things like, “How could you leave our home and parents? Lewis is nice enough, really nice, but I wouldn’t want to go anywhere so far from home with him, what is there about him that makes you want to leave us. Liking him enough to have him here and go places wtih him is one thing, but liking him enough go so far away and spend a lifetime with him is another,”

And she does say out loud,

“I don’t understand it at all. I NEVER could go away with Lewis and leave Papa and Mama and everybody.”

Her sister is naturally hilarified by this, and tells her she mustn’t think of her sister as making a sacrifice, that if she ever gives her heart to a good, true man, she will be entirely willing to go away with him, and she must never think of taking marriage vows until she does feel that way.

The younger sister says,

“It will never seem possible… I’ll never love any man enough to leave Papa and Mama. If that’s what I must do to be married, I shall have to be an old maid, for that is all nonsense. I know no man on earth could tempt me to do it.”

Naturally, of course, by the end of the book a very nice young man has indeed tempted her to wed and she has happily succumbed.

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