UPDATE: forgot to give the link to Whose Wishes, Part the First.
Recently, on a Larry King show, Michael Schiavo was asked if he had spoken to or seen Terri’s parents. He said no. He was asked if he could understand what they, as parents, were going through. He replied,
“M. SCHIAVO: Yes, I do. But this is not about them, it’s about Terri. And I’ve also said that in court. We didn’t know what Terri wanted, but this is what we want…”
Terri’s parents have charged all along that Terri had never expressed a wish to die to Michael, and that this was only what he wanted. I realize that there is a good possiblity that this is not what Michael meant to say, but perhaps it’s one of those misstatements that has more truth to it than the speaker wishes. And, of course, it’s not the first time Michael has admitted it’s not Terri’s wishes that motivate him:
In a September 27, 1999 Deposition, Michael Schiavo said his reason for keeping guardianship of Terri was essentially to get back at her parents.Q. Have you considered turning the guardianship over to Mr. and Mrs. Schindler?
SCHIAVO: No, I have not.
Q. And why?
SCHIAVO: I think that’s pretty self explanatory.
Q. I’d like to hear your answer.
SCHIAVO: Basically I don’t want to do it.
Q. And why don’t you want to do it?
SCHIAVO: Because they put me through pretty much h*** the last few years.
Q. And can you describe what you mean by h***?
SCHIAVO: The litigations they put me through.
Q. Any other specifics besides the litigation?
SCHIAVO: Just their attitude towards me because of the litigations. There is no other reason. I’m Terri’s husband and I will remain guardian.
After his attorney “talked” with him, Michael added, “Yeah. Another reason would be that her parents wouldn’t carry out her wishes.”
Others (namely her parents and brother) have contradicted Michael’s assertion that his wife would want her feeding tube removed. In addition, Cindy Shook, who had an affair with Michael shortly after Terri’s incident, gave a startling deposition. Regarding what Terri would have wanted she claims Michael said,
“How the h*** should I know we never spoke about this, my God I was only 25 years old. How the h*** should I know? We were young. We never spoke of this.”
More here: Does Michael Know What Terri Wanted? Does he care?
See Blogs for Terri for more.
Terri is a Catholic. Michael has had a standing order for her *immediate* cremation upon death. Why?
See here for more about Michael- look particularly at file 12.
One Comment
Her husband claims that he has no trouble with this death through starvation because she has no real consciousness. That she died in 1990 and that this is just the vessle. She can’t feel the pain of death through starvation, he says.
If her mind is completely dead and this is just some vessle, how does keeping her alive offend her? How is she not getting what she wants when she’s not capable of wanting anything? Are we to argue that her soul is sitting there observing us completely somehow detached from her body and is like “how dare you let me live and not move on?”
Isn’t part of the motivation to “let her die”, to end her suffering?
And he says its all his “love.” Love requires unending obedience even at the expense of making her family suffer needlessly? In a transcript I read, he was talking to Larry King about the cercumstance in which she said she’d want to die. She said she wouldn’t want to be a burden.
That’s the key there. She could not have known how strongly her parents would fight, and honestly when a loved one tells you “kill me”, a true loving response is “Absolutely not! How could you even make that request of me?”
Love seeks what is good for the other. At times this means disagreeing with your loved one and refusing to submit.
Wanting to die is unnatural. Its a basic human instinct to want to live. I’ve talked to people who have attempted suicide and I know from personal experience. You can think all you want that you want to die, but when you tell a loved one that and they agree to it, its gut-renching. “I am a burden. They don’t want me. I thought I realized how useless I was, but now I see I’m even more useless.”
Its only ever a disallusion that you want to die. The will to live is instinctional. Not wanting to live in a certain condition is not the same as wanting to die.